I’ve had a lot of people recently come to me about anxiety attacks and panic attacks so I am going to teach you here, best I can, in a very short amount of time, so that you can be more prepared if you enter into an anxious time in your life or so that you can be equipped to be of assistance to the people you love around you…and we are invited to truly love everyone…so, no pressure!
Ok, so, in Montreal, back in the late 1990’s, Dr. Surkis taught me that a panic attack is when “you attack yourself with your own anxiety”. Consider, if you have a deep deep wound or fear, that you didn’t even realize you sealed off or pushed down — then, something happens in your present life– like a health scare, a job change, a new crossroads on your path suddenly opens up and it stirs up and awakens this fear deep down below. Your normal coping mechanisms are all at play and yet they are not working. The fear of possibly having more intimacy can provoke this as well.
In our childhood we let all sorts of people (like our parents) close to us. They are not perfect people and they have also made many destructive or unconscious choices in their lives — they are not filled with the perfection of love — so, basically, we have these people in our intimate space and they hurt us. Why wouldn’t that provoke anxiety within us about the idea of intimacy?
Some of us have experienced more traumatic rejection, abuse, or coldness than others, but it is not ours to compare with others, only BE compassionate, I urge you. Choose not to judge where another person has come from and neither judge your own experience as “impossible to get over” — Honestly, this sounds cliche’, but if there is a Creator God that created us all, which, I believe there is, then the words are true that Jesus said: “with man, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible…” (I am reminded of what Audrey Hepburn said, look at the word impossible a different way and you see:
“I’m possible” ).
Why do you think this is, that with God, this relief, this healing is possible? We are both physical flesh and we are also Spirit. Jesus is called the “Author of Peace” … St Paul says of Jesus “For He Himself is our peace.” Regardless of your religion — consider, what if Jesus embodied the Spirit of God in all perfection? In the Psalms we read this song: “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them…and give them my salvation.” (Ps. 91)
Salvation has to do with healing, restoring, bringing to right– even if you think of a “salve” a healing balm that works in us to heal all of the broken parts. I just now looked up Psalm 91, to bring you the Hebrew word they have in that verse for Salvation– you’ll never believe what it is!?
is the Hebrew text. (Read from right to left) I took Hebrew for a couple semesters in college — “Yeshua” is the name “Jesus” — it is the Hebrew name for Jesus — It is what Jesus parents would have called him… if your name now is Joshua– your name means “salvation” — So it is like the verse is saying to us, 1,000 plus years before Jesus, ” I will give them my Yeshua.”
I cannot believe I forgot this Hebrew word.
So, the Strong’s Hebrew definition is “to save, be saved, be delivered…”
So, to go back to the beginning of this blog post, because I didn’t complete the first thought presented here, what Dr. Surkis said about how we attack our own selves with panic. He would tell us to always go to the origin and real definition of a word –(that’s why I chose Montreal, to go to this internship– because I love words and finding their origin!) –Anyways, Pan comes from the Norse god “Pan” the being that would play the flute and everyone in the village couldn’t help themselves but they would start dancing and follow him. He represents our raw impulses and emotions in a wild way. This whole idea of “panic” has to do with “I am afraid of my own impulses.” Consider this theory, that we have huge anger, rage, sadness, grief and guilt about our past — and all of these emotions are pushed down until some new fear activates them.
We feel overwhelmed by these feelings and do not know how to handle it… The classic example of this is when people are afraid to drive on the freeway — because, as Dr. Surkis would teach us, — the highway is this big open road and you are in a car–this big thing/object that has the possibility of causing death– and other people are on the freeway and they can hurt us possibly. You can also drive “anywhere” and go really fast on the freeway. Look at how I described some people’s childhood! Look at these cars and the freeway as a metaphor. We do not wish to recreate the pain of our own childhood! We don’t realize consciously why suddenly we are afraid of the road — but it is such a “perfect” match to the fear from what is buried down in our childhood.
I only gave myself one hour to write this, so I will have to continue a “Part 2” of this — I do not want to “leave you here” but I have a goal to stay consistent with writing and helping people here, so I have to use the time I set aside. In order to do this, I have to set aside my perfectionism and my wish to include EVERYthing in one post.
Suffice it to say, God is still, God, — He is Spirit and He gave us His name when, as St. Luke recorded: the angel of The Lord came to Mary and said “Listen! You will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of King David, his ancestor….his kingdom will never end” (That is the NCV of Luke 1:31…)
Regardless of what me, or any psychologist says, — I believe that God loves us and has the power to bring us healing and heal all of these old old deep set wounds. We are afraid to let someone heal us because that would require closeness and then we could get hurt again. — Sometimes, we think we would rather get lost in all of our anxiety– as painful as it is — than allow healing — but it is so important that we seek Truth in our innermost self and we do not let the darkness and evil of the past determine the rest of our lives — not when we have Jesus who says to us “I AM the Way…”
It is a great mystery to dwell upon. I am not offering any cartoon version of Jesus but to seek these mysteries of God and let them begin to unfold in your life. You are not alone in your anxiety. It can be terrifying — believe me, I come at times, desperate before God.
I’ll write more on this… Much Love to you always. Feel free to comment and ask more, so I know what you guys would like answers about….
Watch this 2 minute video– it shows us what goes on in us internally as children!