Dr Cheryl Meier's Blog

Walk in Love

Category: meditation

On the Mystics and Psychological Growth

I found the most beautiful writings today from the 1920’s, Evelyn Underhill! I had to share!

She writes:

The great man is rooted in history, plaited up in the life of his own time: absorbs from the human as well as from the spiritual. His feet are in Time, though his head is in Eternity…

~Evelyn Underhill

If you’d like to read the whole book, The Essentials of Mysticism, here’s a link to a free PDF of it:

http://christianmystics.com/Ebooks/The_Essentials_Mysticism/teom.pdf

It struck me, as I was reading (listening to) this book, I heard the line:

His feet are in Time
though his head is in Eternity
~Evelyn Underhill

And it immediately reminded me of one of Elliott (Smith)’s lyrics:

With a giant fantasy life
Running round on feet of clay
~ Elliott Smith

Evelyn writes of the importance of the Mystics — to the whole spiritual body (of the “church”) — and how they are like the artist, or the creative genius, who quiets their mind enough to enter into the heavenly realms and translates back to us, in some kind of words, or symbol or song — some conveyance of these beautiful truths of God — or the feeling they got from that place.

They are ever so necessary to wake us up from our slumber! A sleep we do not realize we are within — until they show up in our lives, like a breath of fresh air or a cool mountain spring in the midst of our desert!

If you don’t read all of this book, at least skip ahead to the chapter called “The Mystic as Creative Artist”, in this chapter she writes:

“Ultimately, we owe to the mystics all the symbols, ideas and images of which our spiritual world, as it is thought of by the bulk of men, is constructed. We take its topography from them, at second-hand; and often forget the sublime adventures immortalized in those phrases which we take so lightly on our lips — the Divine Dark, the Beatific Vision, the Eternal Beauty, Ecstasy, Union, Spiritual Marriage, and the rest. The mystics have actually created, from that language which we have evolved to describe and deal with the time-world, another artistic world; a self-consistent and spiritually expressive world of imaginative concepts, like the world of music or the world of colour and form.

They are always trying to give us the key to it, to induct us into its mysterious delights. It is by means of this world,
and the symbols which furnish it, that human consciousness is enabled to actualize its most elusive experiences; and hence it is wholly due to the unselfish labours of those mystics who
have struggled to body forth the realities by which they were possessed, that we are able, to some extent, to enter into the special experiences of the mystical saints; and that they are
able to snatch us up to a brief sharing of their vision, to make us live for a moment “Eternal Life in the midst of Time.””

It was all such beautiful, full, inspiring words… I had to stop by here and leave you a taste!

I was out of the country (Paris!) for a couple weeks and other things (in “life”) have come up — but I usually tweet regularly @DrCherylM and still post some on Facebook — but again, I love to offer more depth of understanding here!

A friend of mine posted on Facebook tonight, his distress of trying to love one dear to him in the midst of an addiction that that person may or may not be willing to part with… He expressed what he saw as the end results of addiction are:

1) recovery
2) jail
3) or death …

I put these things here, and I continue to work as a psychologist, because I hold onto this idea, perhaps in faith or in knowing that we are all redeemable, and re-covery is for us all, if we choose it! Re-membering ourselves and re-covering our “nakedness” — not in the shame we so readily have known, but in Love, with forgiveness and reconciliation. In remembering a truth that was perhaps vastly crushed out of us in childhood– that we are Loved, dear to our Creator, worth Loving, worth cherishing, worth protecting– worth taking the high road for, worth forgiving and worth giving recovery to. Worth, not from anything we have accomplished and achieved– but because we were created by our Creator whose whole WAY is to Love, who IS Love– who formed us out of Love and calls us back to Love.

I just found this prayer (from the book of common prayer, 1928) — for my friend and for each of us:

For Guidance.

O GOD, by whom the meek are guided in judgment, and light riseth up in darkness for the godly; Grant us, in all our doubts and uncertainties, the grace to ask what thou wouldest have us to do, that the Spirit of Wisdom may save us from all false choices, and that in thy light we may see light, and in thy straight path may not stumble; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

As I used to do, so long ago(!)
Here’s a song from a (*Christian) mystic to remind us:

Bob Marley – Could you be Loved

*Marley converted to Ethiopian Orthodox Christianity more than 6 months before his death– it’s a beautiful, but lesser known story! I just found someone’s retelling of it here: ( http://journeytoorthodoxy.com/2010/06/bob-marley-orthodox-christian/ )

Much love to you all! You are DEAR Souls, I invite you NOT to forget that Dear Ones! ❤️
Sincerely, Dr Cheryl

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The Cause and Cure for Any Addiction

I’m going to direct us back to some of the basics here, but do NOT let the simplicity of what I am about to say fool you! My experience over the last 20 years has led me to see reoccurring patterns. This is my art/skill/craft/expertise!

If and when you understand these patterns then you can set yourself free, for the rest of your life.

“You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

So, addictions, or any kind of self-betraying (or other-betraying) behavior occurs because of shame. Another way to describe this fuel of addiction is:

I am cut off from the True Source of LOVE.

—> This “disconnect” creates SHAME.

—> Shame is what fuels addictions.

Why else would I keep going back to alcohol, drugs, cheating on my spouse, workaholism, eating disorders, faking-perfection, obsessions, video-games, tv, or other addictions? These kinds of behaviors are NOT in alignment with how I would like to treat someone that I love. 

We cannot make these behaviors go away, no matter how much we “try”– we have to see what the root cause is, and heal that.  Once we identify the cause then we can find a true cure!

This disconnect from the True Source of Love occurs out of some form of ignorance/ not-knowing, in fullness.  ( I.e.: “Forgive them Father for they know not what they are doing.)

Ignorance:  I was never taught and/or never experienced a real depth of love and intimacy. I wasn’t shown the truth of what this means! In addition to that, I was taught, by my parent’s behavior or the environment around me, that Love is not available to me — for whatever reason, they showed me that I was not worth the effort to love in that immense capacity.

If you do not “have it” you cannot give it away — so my parent’s “not having” this love– communicated to me that I cannot have it either, but that is not the truth — it may be the truth of what we experienced, but it is not the truth of the fullness of Love we are meant to have and live within.

This disconnect from REAL LOVE, that we often “feel” but never recognized or put words to, may look like one of these:

  1. “Not measuring up” :  No matter what I did, it never felt like it was quite enough for me to feel truly secure and loved.
  2. “Too Busy to recognize my need for Love”:  I’m so “busy” all the time, working, I have no need of “Love”– I pushed that aside long ago. I’d rather stay busy and numb myself to those tender feelings and experiences.
  3. I’m just gonna wait here“:   They told me it was coming…I “know” I am worth loving…I’m just going to keep taking this substitute (_________) until the Real thing shows up…it’s “just around the corner.” “Maybe if I run faster?”
  4. “It must be my fault”, I’m just a horrible, unlovable person…that’s just the way it is.  I have hurt too many people to deserve love.

——————

Look, it is vital that each of us learns how to walk in integrity, with dignity, and self-respect. This is what it means to “Walk in Love!” To Walk in Love = to Walk in Truth — in the most loving way possible..and even into the seemingly impossible

When we cut ourselves off, or are cut off, from the true path of Love, then we experience the feeling of shame and emptiness.  That shame and emptiness is way too painful of a place to “live” in, so we create defenses (really early in life!).

Some of these defenses are:

  1. Depression: We numb our need for Love, press it down and squish our heart so that we don’t constantly feel the pain…we get so used to deadening it all that we don’t even realize what we are actually “actively” doing — de-pressing.
  2. Pleasing: this is much like busyness, we do what we can to achieve, please, perform, or otherwise “fill up” a broken “other” (like a fragile parent) –with the hopes that they will somehow see our worth and fill us up with real Love. Note: “pleasing” is always paired with “waiting”, your life is constantly on hold, while you wait for the other person to “get it“, that you are worth loving.
  3. Apathy: we act like we don’t need this Love, and get used to living on scraps…(this is like depression, but seemingly more resigned to “I just don’t care!” –where depression is more like a continual loss and sadness.)
  4. Anxiety: We surround ourselves with drama and attack ourselves with anxiety, it is like a fog that works to distract us from the deeper pain and loneliness of being cut off from Real LOVE.  We can get so “lost” in the terror and anxiety that we burn out our adrenal glands (I am not a medical doctor so research more on that if you wish!) — all for the “service” of running from experiencing the real feelings underneath and finding the cure/the balm they are asking for.

There are many others, but it is the same basic pattern, showing up in a myriad of ways. When we learn this new Formula–then we are equipped to take a step back and SEE what is going on– and free ourselves!

Here is a quick drawing of one of the patterns of addiction — that I often write out in a therapy session so that my client can visually see what he or she is doing: 

20130908-125602.jpg

I often call this “The Boot and the Carrot”. You have this giant boot behind you, threatening you; and this carrot (or some mostly-empty-temporary-reward) in front of you– and you constantly put yourself back on this “treadmill”– and THAT is where you are choosing to live!

When we are drowning in shame, that is when we “use” whatever addiction we have on hand, in efforts to try to fill up the emptiness that our disconnect from REAL LOVE has created.  Then, I feel more shame, because of my secret addiction, and run to more addiction or back on the treadmill to try to “prove” my worth…which is impossible to prove.

Accepting Real Love is about choosing to receive what is already here.  We are afraid of it and have forgotten it is available to each of us, in an infinite amount.  I am reminded of Christ’s words: “for I have come, not to judge the world, but to give life to the world.” or in the same book of St. John, Jesus says: “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd…”

You are free to choose the life of the endless boot and empty carrot for yourself, but then you are missing the deeper experience and reality of REAL LOVE!  This REAL LOVE is what I am constantly making the effort to put into words in all of my posts here.  The real love involves having the courage to step off the treadmill.  

Look at this beautiful invitation to a different kind of Life–that my dear friend Elliott Smith wrote into his lyrics for us:

I have become a silent movie
The hero killed the clown
Can’t make a sound

Nobody knows what he’s doing
–Still–hanging around
Can’t make a sound

The slow motion moves me
The monologue means nothing to me
Bored in the role, but he can’t stop
Standing up to sit back down
Or lose the one thing found

Eyes locked and shining
Can’t you tell me what’s happening?
Why should you want any other
When you’re a world within a world?

—-
Now, knowing Elliott, I’m sure he had 100 different layers of meaning for this song as well as “no meaning”– and I have touched on some in previous posts, but, for now, let’s just see it as another description of how to get off the repetitive, destructive or monotonous cycle– and begin to know real Love.  We can then let go of this disingenuous, yet familiar pattern we’ve been offering ourselves!

The Way to let go of addictions is to recognize your disconnect from the real Source of Love, and then heal that— and pray to the Creator, God, to help you on this path.  You would have no NEED to get back on the “treadmill” over and over if you were connected to, and living within, the real source of Love…if you knew the real essence of who You are and the depth of Love that God continuously offers us.

Elliott’s song as a description of this process:

I have become a silent movie— transformed into this quiet place, where you are observing what is going on, from outside yourself, like watching a movie and not being caught up in lots of dialogue — the constant drama of your competing desires, that each claim to be “you.”

The hero killed the clown— The hero is your better half, the courageous side of you with high thoughts and aspirations of love — I imagine the breath of God in Adam– like when Aslan breathes on Lucy in the Narnia books — the awakening of the deepest part of our Soul; the “clown”, in my understanding, is your present day personality, or warring desires that always claim to be “you” —  you are on a path to find out how to NOT let the clown part of you dominate over the True Hero.  (I do not want to confuse anyone at this point, but it is important to point out that our warring desires can mimic the hero and act like they are the hero — doing such a “good job” to kill off the joyous child-like part of yourself which can be clown-like.  For example, the super-ego coming in and “like a boss” trampling over the tender child-like parts of ourselves that are beautiful and free. 

I’ve heard it said, time and again, that every virtue has the propensity to turn into a vice.  Jesus said “my children know my voice” — you can ask God for discernment regarding the part of your Soul to align with and which parts to “repent”/ turn away completely from.  The scriptures remind us we are at war against the ‘world’, the flesh, and the devil: “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”  

It is our job, with the help of God, to transform and see, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit of God– and to recognize who the True HERO is. It’s not the one desperately running on the treadmill– because, in this new formula:  “The slow-motion moves me” 

You would have no need to “prove” yourself if and when you are connected to the True Source of Love:

The monologue means nothing to meOur outer (present day personality) self, is just a role, that we cannot stop (like a costume that is ours for a certain time). It is NOT our real Self. It stands up and acts like it is “us” …We have been given a body and are embodied within it– but the reflection of me in the mirror is not the sum-total of “me” inside this body.  My body will die and be buried and yet my Soul carries on.

Or lose the ONE THING found” –is LOVE, it is the “Pearl of Great Price” — our Soul saved –by and in God.  This is a great mystery,  yet we must consciously choose to allow and petition God to keep revealing it to us and in us.  We have forgotten who we are and we are just now remembering…Jesus invited us: “You, come and follow me…let the dead bury their own dead.”

Eyes locked and shining…can you tell me what’s happening?

Yes! You are an initiate. You are connecting yourself, if you choose, to the Love of God– you are being transformed, and transforming into something of much more depth and beauty than the boringness and the slavery of our pettiness and addictions!

What “right” do I have to cut myself off from the Source of all Love? If we are all connected, then as I cut myself off from Love, I am also cutting you off from Love. (This goes into quantum physics – which I certainly like to study, but cannot yet explain…)

Clearly, I could go on and on to describe this is deeper and different ways– but, most people these days don’t have the time or attention span, etc. I’ll write more blogs and I have others available here and my YouTube channel! (www.youtube.com/user/drcherylmeier ).

Please share a link to my blog with like-minded people who you think would enjoy looking at life from these perspectives! I know what I have to say is valuable –because I see so many lives, and my own, so deeply healed and transformed; this is why I put the time in here, to offer this insight freely.

I wish you much Love! You are not alone.

Tiago Iorc – My Girl [Acoustic]

Wow! I just found the (above) song! I quieted my mind to see what would “fit” and I thought: “I’ve got Sunshine…” So I searched on YouTube and this is the first one I was “drawn” to… In this beautiful acoustic version, Tiago Iorc, who I do not know of, slows the song down, and –captures the beauty and essence– the FEELING of what Real Love feels like, vs. the “quick fix” of “rotating relationships” and addictions we often run to. The true “Sunshine” is the Source of all Love– “my girl” is “real” but also a signpost to the Real- REAL….(I describe all of this here in my “Girl Longing” songs/playlist on Youtube!) Enjoy!

Marriage/relationships, a refresher course

I had the radio on for 5 min the other day (am) and the host said:

“I used to love her, but I’m just not in love anymore….”

I seriously thought about calling in…but that’s what’s great about this blog, I can direct that energy and understanding here so people that want to learn and want to free themselves, can.

Marriage and relationships are a funny mystery…if we understand part of their purpose then we can appreciate this place of “being married” much more!

Imagine, for a moment, that you have all these old emotional wounds from childhood– but they may be “dormant” — you have “sufficient” space between yourself and most others –where very few people activate these old wounds….

Enter—> a spouse and kids!

A spouse is like a mirror, he or she brings out whatever “deficiencies” or wounds you have. Remember, we “go back” to where we were hurt in childhood, we find someone familiar to push into that old role of our parents. (Notice the word “family” in familiar…Our spouses often reactivate our old family drama.)

What we find out though, through our anger and disappointment, is that we found someone who was wounded in the same way as us—who reacted to those wounds, in an opposite way than us. (I’ll explain/describe, below). That person is just as “disabled” as us, but they can empathize well because he does know the same pain.

Here’s the example:

Let’s say that both partners were neglected in childhood. One child may react by becoming a performer, outgoing, seeking attention to try to fill the neglect….the other child totally shuts down and became introverted– trying to deny his felt needs for love and closeness. Both people “magically” find eachother –(the shy person wants to be more outgoing and “confident”…the outgoing one is exhausted from performing and doesn’t want to feel so needy)…. they think the other will heal them…when, really, they have both just reacted an opposite way to the same pain. (What they each need is the solution not a reaction.)

Regardless of how that example sounds marriage is still a sacred union that can truly be the catalyst we needed in order to SEE what was broken and take responsibility to heal it. (It CAN be healed, it’s just that we are now adults, our parents and spouses cannot heal us…only we can, with the help of the Creator, who is LOVE, who gives this LOVE freely….we just don’t yet experience it…if we still think it’s our spouse’s job, or that we’re meant to just be empty, resentful, performing, or begging the rest of our lives…etc).

This is why though, we have that phenomenon where we experienced falling in love and once we find out that person does not have the solution, but their own reaction
—and we find out they are not healing us
— and our inadequacies are all the more apparent,
—and we engage in a “power struggle” trying to push the other person into reading our mind and loving us in all the ways our parents didn’t…
—and it’s still not working…
—then people complicate everything cause they think that diving into a new pool (affair or divorce) will solve everything, when really, they just needed to learn how to swim! (it’s a CS Lewis quote, in his book “The Four Loves” …we like the sensation of diving/”falling in love” so much but we never learn to swim…).

Even when we leave our spouse for the affair the broken patterns we have within us, do manifest in the new “affair” relationship anywhere between 2 hours and 2 years (Harville Hendrix’ book: Keeping the Love You Find is the best book I’ve found on this– except for he emphasizes that the other person can heal you, and they can’t, not in and of themselves, — but Hendrix has amazing insight as to how we are wounded in each stage of development and what it looks like as adults and that our partner does act as a mirror and shows us what needs healing…just look at the re-occurring arguments!  They point to exactly what you are wanting.)

One more point before wrapping up this post, that I’m sure to mention lots more– is Shakespeare’s quote:

Thou dost protest too loudly!

Look to wherever the energy is–and you will see what old pain keeps getting re-activated and then you can begin to take the steps to SEE it, take responsibility for your own pain, and begin to heal it!

It’s the pie/pizza rule…. If your spouse or child does something that really only warrants addressing with 1/8th piece of the pie, but you are throwing the WHOLE thing at them…then that 7/8ths is your own unconscious “baggage” not theirs– and the more you over react with them, the less chance you have of actually addressing the 1/8th that needs to be addressed at some point–and a MUCH less chance of ever seeing your own stuff because you’re so lost in rage at theirs.

Jesus was showing us they way to heal when he directed us to take the log out of our own eye then we will be able to remove the speck out of our brothers.

There’s lots more…but this will help you be more loving and compassionate to that kind person we’ve been engaging in all this madness for so many years! I know, they’ve been doing it too…but you can heal what is missing, and learn to forgive “all debts owed to you” from the past– and it REALLY cuts down on resentment….

20120520-161133.jpg

Independence Day, Separation, and No Coincidences

So, I felt the prompting to set my mp3 player to shuffle while doing “chores” today (I usually listen to lectures and teachings,etc.) …and this song started playing: Independence Day. (by Elliott Smith) … It was so profound and so poignant!

I immediately went to find it on YouTube (for you) to post the link here on this blog & I listened to it there and thought to myself:

” ‘this guy’ was tapping into the deep knowledge of the Spirit…” (or of our Creator, or however one describes this phenomenon– i.e., the Psalms of David).

I loved the song when he sang it back when I knew him, and I could feel it was deep, but now, after being a therapist and psychologist for 15+ years, I see much more psychological and Spiritual depth to it–and I was saying to myself “he must’ve just tapped into that, he didn’t consciously ‘know’ all that he was writing.?!” And guess what!? I happened to look down at the comment section on the YouTube vid and “Dressrehersalrags” had commented:

“Elliott didn’t write it. As with John Lennon, this came from the spirit world…”

I have the equivalent of a masters degree in theology and clearly, a deep interest, but I do not know the complexities of what we get to choose before we “show up” here! But I am perfectly serious when I say this — there are no coincidences! I don’t know how it all works, and believe me, that would be a very very long post for you to endure if I began to describe all my thoughts that I’ve gathered and worked through on this subject…so it’ll have to be in small bites and over time (and we each walk our own path and have our own way of understanding Truth, dear God correct me when I am wrong…).

But back to the psychological significance and how it can work to help us change in our every day life:

This subject of

s e p a r a t i n g

from the old ingrained ideas we have received from our sometimes-not-so-conscious parents –is a subject that comes up often in the “therapy room.” We hold on to that which is familiar (“family”). So even when these old ideas are destructive, we repeat them because that is what is known and familiar. They showed us, by their actions, that “THIS is what people do, and it’s impossible to change, or we would have, so don’t even try!”

Like I’ve already written, it’s not like most of our parents meant to teach us these things (even if they did, I’ll eventually do a post on that subject), but forgiveness is still a necessity.

If we just say:

“oh, they didn’t mean to

then we are excusing them.
And if we keep excusing them, it indicates we are in a “pleasing” /passive position. When we excuse them, we also repeat that same pattern internally and indulge/ EXCUSE ourselves.

Thus, the pattern is repeated!  Over and over and over and over….

What is necessary, if we wish to heal, is to consciously move out of the excusing pattern and choose to see that they were responsible then, but now we are adults, we are responsible to separate ourselves from those ideas and patterns. We are responsible to change, heal, bring LOVE to those areas.

I know Elliott would not mind at all if I use his art to help others, because he was so generous in that way— so, we can look at his lyrics to help us–because sometimes art, like the Tolstoy quote indicated, can get us beyond our ingrained defenses, and reveal the truth.

A Future butterfly,
gonna spend the day higher than high
You’ll be beautiful confusion
Ooh, once I was you

It’s important to hold this idea, somewhere in our mind and imagination, that at some future time, God willing, we will be transformed (future butterfly), we will have changed from whatever we are now, here, to what the Creator designed us to become– we will “remember” what it is we are meant to do and BE, because, like Boethius says, everything learned is just remembering.

“Higher than high”, is very clear to me in my perspective now, that – as we ask God to purify our hearts — He can give us an understanding that is higher than our “flesh” or higher than the highest wisdom of this earth.  I recall St. Paul describing all of his achievements, knowledge, and religious training he had gained on this earth–that they are all like a dung hill now, in comparison to the knowledge of Christ:

“I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ…”

It’s taken me years, just to understand a little, and have experiences of Grace where I see (understand in my inner self) things that my own mind could have never comprehended by reading books.  When we are so caught up in this life, in our depression and pain or in running after things of this earth– or numbing ourselves to “shield” from pain — we get so lost we cannot “see” this place of “higher than high” — but it is like a ray of sunshine that shines through on a day where it was just raining…or I am reminded of Bilbo Baggins, when he is in the thick, dark Mirkwood forest and they (the dwarves) are so discouraged and have almost given up in despair — he climbs the highest tree and sees the sun — and I just remembered, butterflies!  hobbit-77-butterflies-of-mirkwood

Bilbo says: “There are moments which can change a person for all time” (J. R.R. Tolkien)…

I saw you caught between all the people out making the scene
And a bright ideal, tomorrow
Ooh, don’t go too far
Stay who you are

Imagine that the “you” in these lyrics is another part of “you” –So, part of you is your Soul/spirit and another part of you is caught up in your present-day-personality, your ego-self, the person you see in the mirror– caught in the traps of materiality and temptations of building up your false-self (which doesn’t last).

“Don’t go too far, stay who YOU are”…

Who are You?  What if we are all like the prodigal son, we leave the Father and go out “here” on our life’s journey, to experience 3-d time and space, and we are meant to return back to God, in whose likeness and image we were once created?  In a way, this return is returning back to who we truly ARE, or were already, in some sense, beyond time. (It’s really difficult to try to summarize or describe this, because it is a deep mystery that is just unfolding to me in my own life, and I do not wish to mislead you in any way–ever, so sometimes it’s better to stay silent!).  Tolkien’s Hobbit book was called “a Hobbit’s Journey–there and back again”…Tolkien knew this idea well — much better than I do!

Everybody knows
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
You only live a day
But it’s brilliant anyway

When something is repeated three times in the scriptures in means it is very important, pay attention, there is deeper meaning here! (See C.S. Lewis’ “The Horse and His Boy” — when asked who he is, Aslan replies:

“Myself,” said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again “Myself,” loud and clear and gay: and then the third time “Myself,” whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all around you as if the leaves rustled with it…”

You are invited to “know” in a deeper way than you ever thought possible.

Everybody “knows” on one level– such as the surface level, and then on another level, and yet there is a deeper level of knowing beyond that.

I saw you at the perfect place
It’s gonna happen soon, but not today
So go to sleep, and make the change
I’ll meet you here tomorrow
Independence Day
Independence Day
Independence Day

“go to sleep” is not about becoming unconscious or numb, but think of the silk worm or the caterpillar, who willingly lets their outer person “die” or fall away (“sleep”), so that they can change into their true self and fly.

We’ll have to continue this on another blog….
too long already!
“I’ll meet you here tomorrow” (ha!)

Here’s the wonderful book by Boethius, written in 580 AD!

xoxo

I do this because….(part 2, moving out of passivity)

So, I know this post shows up at the top, before the previous one (part 1 of this post is here ) so if you are just now showing up, I still think the best way is to start at the first post I posted, because I’m building on each. But you choose!

Feel free to stop for a second and breathe slowly. I’m definitely going to have to write some posts about meditation…or the Lectio Divina.

Ok, so we left off mid-session 😉 last post, exploring this idea of :

“Yes, I was a child then, and yes my right brain is not connected with time and space so that part of me doesn’t realize I have a choice! I am an adult now, I did have to wait for my parents to protect and teach me then, but I no longer have to be in that passive, childlike, waiting position!!”

I’m too scared to change because (bc)….

Ans.: I learned really well how to follow this pattern in the broken environment I grew up in… Change was “dangerous” ….

And I assume I will always continuously be in that same broken environment bc….

Ans: bc I always was…

And if it is true that I manifest that which I still imagine, then I have continued to manifest this old-reality-environment into my present life….

I’ll put it this way– if I always saw my parents struggling then I absorb this idea that life is a constant struggle.

(I’m not saying that it’s not, in a way, but if I never learn how to care well for and respect myself plus I keep finding other people that walk on me–like I insist I “deserve” —- then I just created lots more struggle in my life….)

Look at it this way (and I might have mentioned this briefly on my post with the wagon wheel) — our life here, somehow, is like the movie “the Matrix” –a hologram, and whatever unresolved brokenness and patterns we have inside, continue to “magically” cycle “outside”, manifesting in our lives over and over and over again, until they are healed in a REAL way!

I sort of look at it as God’s gift to us. (The Creator has an amazing sense of humor, eh?!) — it is truly of great benefit that we get to see it so clearly though, if we make the conscious choice to take a step back, and look!

We always go back to where things broke down, find new people or the environment to play the parts, and we try to create the happily ever after!

For example, when we keep fighting with our spouse about taking out the trash, or whatever the re-occurring argument is about — guess what?! It’s not about the trash! 🙂

We will work, here, to get to a place where you can see clearly what that is! And see clearly how to move out of this passive, waiting, afraid, child-like state….

We have the ability to move into a place of making a deliberate choice, creating a new path (blazing a new trail– it’s cliche’, but I like the idea of burning in a new path!), of letting go of fear and seeing there is no need to hold onto it…and of seeing that I can create a healthy environment for myself and then I’ll SEE that I don’t have to react in those old ways!

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