First Session, Depression
So, I’m working to keep these brief, without losing depth. (Depth usually wins if I have to choose!!)
Now that we’ve established: 1) how important it is to ask the questions regarding why we are here; what our purpose is; and which ideas/goals ought we to put first, in order to get the second things too. (First things First blog ) 2) I addressed how to go about finding a GOOD psychologist or, if you choose to begin working on yourself, it is important to begin by inviting yourself to stop indulging your old defenses–as if they are great and do NOT get distracted by the piles you have created they are real, and need to be addressed, but as long as you get lost in the “spokes” you’ll never heal the core–and THAT is what we need to heal!! 3) I wrote a short blog about the importance of doing this work on the canvas of your life– with a little introduction to where your own intuition can lead you.
Ok, so now– in my first session with clients we usually get to this picture:
There’s a Proverb that says:
Above every charge keep thy heart, For out of it are the outgoings of life.
In the above drawing, that I just scribbled down at the gas station– is a picture of a heart that is not guarded, on the left. If we follow the Proverb, then– above everything–, we are to keep watch over, observe, and guard our heart– like a shepherd over his sheep, or a kind mother and father over their little children. It doesn’t mean put a brick wall around our heart–just like we wouldn’t be protecting the sheep or our children if they were just put up in a castle tower and left there.
Out of the heart flows the outgoings of life. If our heart has been stepped on, ignored, neglected, un-protected, etc. then we will have learned (by their actions) that “that heart is not worth protecting” –hence, the drawing on the bottom of the picture (with the boot) is one, among many, of our coping mechanisms/defenses.
To depress means “to press down.” If you were taught NOT to protect your heart (by the purposeful or –most likely– unconscious actions of the people who raised you)–then when all the arrows of life get through those holes (in the drawing) –that heart is left full of them & bleeding!!
We can’t live that way, and yet we insist on holding onto the old idea we learned from our parents and they learned from theirs, etc. So, we find a quick-fix solution—-> we use our energy to press down or numb our hearts. We use anxiety, drugs, alcohol, workaholism, tv, or many other things– to serve the same purpose. (We don’t have to if we really learned how to protect ourselves in a real and meaningful way.).
It’s important that I wrap this post up, but I want to mention the other part of the drawing. If you look at the protected heart on the right–it is also full— I filled it in because LOVE truly is the substance of LIFE. We could (and the majority of people do) temporarily fill our hearts with false-importance, titles, money and the things money can buy, temporary relationships, etc. etc. etc. But those things won’t last– only REAL LOVE is what will satisfy and keep us filled!!
The good news is that there is an infinite supply of LOVE readily available to us right now, in this moment. The bad news is: we keep insisting on filling it with the stuff-of-nothing…. It’s like that saying “Mr. Right!?! I’ll take ‘Mr. Right Now’ “!! As simple as all of this sounds, and as cliche as “Mr. Right Now” is–as long as we’re choosing the temporary solution then we aren’t building up the muscles & perseverance we need to find and keep the true solution.
I write this with love in my heart.
I wish you much love on this path–wherever you are on it at this moment.
This was kind of heavy so I’m linking to a song here…I prefer this version of the Todd Rundgren song:
Love is the Answer
(there’s even English and Portuguese lyrics in the comment section of the vid.)